Thursday, September 25, 2008

What's up with me...

Travelled Mon-Wed to Long Beach for a planning meeting. Feel tired and jet-lagged even after so few days on the West Coast.

I am completely ignoring the fact that I signed up for Janice's group. Realize that I really need someone to help me work through this shit, so I'm just collecting the info Janice sends for me to find someone to work with on it. I'm too embarrassed to talk to Janice. Wish Mike was open to working through this with me (not that I've asked him).

My body is revolting being this fat - not that I look ugly (which I do) rather my stomach is in a constant state of irritation and I run to the bathroom with urgency.

I'm using work as an excuse to maintain the status quo because we are mere weeks away from our annual conference and it should have all my focus; however at the same time, I'm not really able to focus on much of anything at work either.

Finances suck. I hate my new contact prescription. I'm tired of bitching/whining. Daddy's dead and I'm still so sad. But I'm also tired of using that as a mental excuse to let things go. It should be a call to arms to get my ass in gear...

I send you HUGE sister hugs across the country. I wish I had more support to give you today. All I can do is send you my love and empathy. I'm right there with you, sister.

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